How bad a mistake can you make on your resume?
Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!
Proven ability to track down and correct erors.
Qualifications: No education or experience.
Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting.
I am a rabid typist.
Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department.
Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.
References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me.
Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers.
I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voicemail.
I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.
I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one.
My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable.
Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.
Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"
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