Ultimate (Read it)

A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to
see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw
an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was
addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and
read the letter with trembling hands:-

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm
leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to
avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with
Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him
too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But
it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he wants
me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though
Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days is
it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of
our relationship, don't you agree?

Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods
and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has
other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own
way. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my
dreams too.

Randy t aught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be
growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the
cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will
find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of
myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know
your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,
Rosie.

At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO". Hands still
trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my
report card that's in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call
when it is safe for me to come home. I love you!